To Change or Not to Change – That Is the Question

It comes down to a choice.

Long ago, I recognized that someone, whom I assumed to be God, was trying to get me used to the idea of going along with the flow of change.

I’ve had a lot of job changes. Going through them was not always pleasant. I worried if another job would come before I ran out of money. I never ran out of money – another job always came. I came to appreciate that each new job helped round out my talents by bringing me new things to master. If I would have stayed in just one job, my skill-sets would have been limited. I met my second husband at one of my jobs. Had I not worked there, I never would have met him.

Like many others, I’ve had several significant relationships – some more significant than others. Some of those break-ups were the hardest things I had ever gone through. But I did get through them, and I did meet someone even more special afterwards. If I hadn’t made those changes, I never would have been blessed with the experience of falling in love again.

I have had many pets combine their souls with mine. Losing them was like losing a part of myself. But I know I will be with them again and I know they come back to you in new pet bodies. So, I didn’t quit having pets just because of the heartache – I kept getting them because of the love they give me.

I have accepted the changes in my body as they happen. I am not one of those women who slathers on creams and stares in the mirror. I just go with the flow. I accept the changes that come with the stages of life. I know I could fight it, but I choose not to – I choose to accept the changes that accompany aging.

I have seen people come and go into and out of my life. I appreciate the time spent with them. I remember them fondly. I accept that the coming and going of people in my life are a part of the changes of life.

I have lived in more than a dozen different places. Some I liked better than others. Packing up and moving is a hassle – but also an adventure. New places mean new things to see, new people to meet, new things to do.  I have one piece of advice if you are planning to move; have the yard sale before you move – not after. Through changing locations, I learned to accept changes.

I started out cooking in the southern style I was brought up with. Fried chicken, fried pork chops, fried tacos, fried fish, meat and potatoes, mashed potatoes and gravy and biscuits. I decided to fight fatness and eliminated Crisco and anything like it from my pantry. I forgot how to fry. I changed the way I cooked and ate. Now, I am undergoing a third change, and am learning how to cook and eat as a vegetarian. As I have adopted these changes, I have prevented weight gain and gained better health. If I was not willing to change, I would not be reaping these rewards.

I grew up in an environment where nary a positive word was ever heard. No one ever told me they loved me until I was twelve years old, and it wasn’t anyone I was related to who said it. Okay, I will go ahead and say it – it was another girl – and I loved her too. She recently passed away through a very sad death and I will honor her memory by acknowledging that l love her still, and how much those words meant to me then and now.

I could have remained the same way I was raised and not learned how to say positive and encouraging and loving words, but I chose to change. I chose to go against the grain of how I was raised and taught by example.   I chose expressions of love. I chose words of encouragement. I chose to change.

I grew up in a Southern Baptist Church where you are taught that the Bible is the inerrant word of God and men are the interpreter of God’s word. But I never quite bought into all of the doctrine. I chose to listen to my intuition, my inner heart, and decide for myself. I knew that women were not inferior to men and should not be subjected to them in any manner. I know now that the words in the Bible that say that are false insertions by over-writers in the time of Constantine the (not so) Great. Somehow, since I was a child, I believed in re-incarnation even though the Baptists taught me we only have one life in which to get it right. I decided I needed to make a change and take a break from the corrupted religion I grew up in. I have not abandoned it, I hope to help lead it back to the path Jesus and the rest of his disciples started it on, and they believed in re-incarnation and the equality of the sexes.  

There are so many people who fear change in this world that it literally leaves them paralyzed with fear. They worry about the what if’s and the what might happen. They fear the unknown – as if we can ever really know what to expect. They stay in unhappy relationships because they worry they won’t find someone else. They stay in unrewarding jobs because they hate to go through the process of looking for jobs and making changes they aren’t sure will work out.

They feel powerless to make changes. They feel like victims to their habits and choices and lifestyles and conditioning. If they don’t choose to make changes – they are victims to their habits and choices and lifestyles and conditioning.

So, it really is your choice.

Will you learn to welcome changes – or will you continue to fight them?

Written by Melinda Siebold. I welcome the free sharing of my messages as long as they are not altered in any way, and this notice is included. To read more of my work go to